ALL THAT GLITTERS
NARRATION: Last week as you recall, Will Robinson, along with the Professor, Major West, and the Robot had left our space camp in search of vitally needed water. Professor Smith and the women remained at the Jupiter II, unaware that off in the darkness a desperate fugitive from outer space justice had suddenly been turned loose on their planet.
TEASER-not fully recapped--missing the nice character stuff and the mention of the close end orbit around the sun (THE HUNGRY SEA, THE OASIS) as the men and Robot leave the campsite and board the Chariot just before it pulls away.
The Chariot pulls off from camp. All the others wave and say goodbye. Maureen turns on the forcefield. Smith remarks about the pleasant evening it is and that he wants to sleep under the stars. Maureen advises him to do so inside the forcefield. Smith calls it a peaceful and quiet evening--what could possibly happen. Two hairy biped monsters roar as an alien man, dressed like a policeman with helmet and gun, whips the monsters, yelling at them that they lost him and are to pick up his trail--he wants the man found. The man is hiding behind a rock nearby. Day time--Smith eats 104 berries as Penny picks some off a tree for a pie mom is making. Smith gets up to pick some more, "No point in arousing your mother's ire." He picks some and eats some, quoting a song or poem, "One for the master, one for the little boy who lives down the lane, and one for..." Penny warns him not to eat more, "Dr. Smith." Smith turns to see the fugitive, "When I give the word Penny," Smith quietly says, "...we will back away slowly and then run. Now Penny run!" He screams and the man falls. Smith holds Penny infront of him. The man asks for help but seems to faint. Penny wants to help him. Smith says, "Now you listen to me, Penny Robinson, we are not going to get involved with some sort of an alien, we have our own problems." Penny says, "The poor creature needs us." She kneels down, "Mister?" He grabs her arm and she yells, "Let go of me, let go of me, Dr. Smith help me!" "I'll run for help Penny!" Smith runs. Penny screams, "Dr. Smith, don't leave me!" The alien tells her to stop struggling and hopes Smith went for help. She promises she won't run if he will let her go, "I'm Penny Robinson from the planet Earth." He is Ohan. He can't hold her any longer anyway. Before he passes out, she tells him she didn't see anyone named Officer Bolix. Smith races back to the camp, near the Jupiter II ramp. Judy and Maureen are there with their laser guns on. Smith tells them what happened. Judy says, "And you ran away and left her." He answers their stares of accusation with, "I would gladly lay down my life for Penny!" Maureen says, "Well, you missed a golden opportunity." When he complains he hasn't a gun, Maureen tells him, "Judy and I will protect you!" Judy says, "Let's go!" They run to the area but Penny and the alien man are gone. They call to her and hear a sound. Two hairy monsters come out from behind the trees and rocks. Smith gasps, "Two of them! It's an invasion!" Maureen fires her laser gun at both of them, driving them back somewhat. But both then charge them! Smith runs! Maureen says, "Judy run!" The two women run and the monsters follow!
Smith, Judy and Maureen are chased across camp into the ship. Maureen turns on the forcefield which stops the two monsters. Smith gasps, "Flesh and blood can only stand so much." Judy says, "At least you're safe, Dr. Smith, Penny is still out there!" Penny tells them she is fine, "The alien just let her go." Smith is thankful that they have met one alien with decency and compassion. Penny tells him the alien, Ohan, is asleep in Dr. Smith's quarters wearing some of Dr. Smith's clothes. He took a shower first. Penny tells them, "Ohan is a fugitive from justice." She tells Smith he exaggerates so much all the time. Ohan is some kind of international galactic burglar. Penny kneels down and explains more to them. Ohan escaped the Prison Planet and is being hunted but he is not a bad person, Penny defends. Smith sums it up, "A fugitive from justice inside and two monsters outside!" Smith declares he is in command here and Ohan or Ohunt or whatever his name is, goes. Later, Ohan comes up, wearing Dr. Smith's beige-white shirt. Maureen tells him if he needs to rest longer he may. He shows them that he is, as his father and grandfather and great great grandfather before him, a professional thief--which on his world is a time honored profession. He spins Smith around, telling him he has just been robbed by an expert--he returns Smith's watch. He thanks them all, especially Penny. After he goes, Penny reveals, "I like him." She doesn't want him to get caught. Penny and Judy laugh as Smith reveals he is going below to check his cabin--he's probably been robbed. Breakfast later, Smith details assigned tasks--Penny for the garden again---as she has for the past four days. Smith calls her clairvoyant but she reveals it has been the same for four days. Maureen tells Smith she needs Penny to help her clean the freezing tubes and living quarters. Smith will work in the garden. Bolix and his two monsters arrive, asking who the leader is. Both Smith and Maureen answer; Maureen saying, "Dr. Smith, please." Smith says, "Madam really!" Bolix is abrasive--the knows all about them, is from the planet Tauron, has quite an extensive file on the Robinsons, especially on Dr. Smith. His English is curtesy of special training, "You see we have been expecting travelers from Earth for some time." He asks about Ohan. Maureen tells him he will get better cooperation if he doesn't bully them. Of Ohan, Smith says, "We are not his KEEPERs, sir." Bolix asks Penny and Judy questions, then tells them he can arrest all of them for aiding and abetting a known felon. Smith fast talks Bolix--for once, his con artistry helping them out of a problem. In answer to Maureen asking if their word is not good enough, Bolix answers, "I trust no one." Maureen requests he leave the two animals outside--since they could damage delicate equipment. When Bolix, Judy, and Maureen go in, Penny tells Smith, "I don't like him." Smith tells her that years of association with the criminal element have twisted Bolix. Maureen, on the lower deck, insists he stop the search and leave. He is the law for over a million miles (hopefully farther). Maureen tells him here he is out of bounds. Judy asks Bolix about Ohan and why Bolix is looking in drawers. Ohan's escape from prison was prearranged. He stole something of great value. Maureen asks, "And you expect to find it on this ship?" Bolix imitates her, "Yes, I expect to find it on your ship." Penny shows Smith a disk she has that Ohan gave her. Smith says, "Shhh!" He told her it was the key to the greatest treasure in the galaxy. It lights up.
Smith puts the disk in his pocket. Bolix, Maureen, and Judy exit; Bolix promising to drop in. Maureen tells him, "I'd prefer you didn't." Bolix tells them that guilty or not guilty, people often feel quite uncomfortable in the presence of "what on Earth you call flatfoots." Maureen tells him, "We call them policemen and as a rule they're kind and courteous." Bolix leaves, Smith declaring he is glad. Judy says, "He's just doing his job." Maureen calls him a bully. Alone, later, Smith is talked to by a voice when he takes out the disk. Greed has made others who used the disk fall into misfortune. It tells him not to let greed be his master. Penny startles Smith and tells him mom didn't need her after all and she can help in the garden. The voice instructs Smith to close his hand and the disk will get warmer when he gets closer to the treasure. Smith tells Penny it is like a game he used to play as a child--hot potato--cold potato. Penny isn't sure they should do this, "I'm happy just like I am." Smith frowns, "But I am not." He wants to follow what he calls "the gold at the end of the rainbow." They follow it. The disk burns his hand. There is a glowing lit up box behind a rock. Penny tells him to open it before he counts his money. Smith tells her that is a practical suggestion. Inside is a metal ring. Smith asks for jewels, diamonds, and rubies. Penny puffs, "Let's get back to the spaceship. We still have work to do." Night--Smith sneaks out of the ship, examines the disk, puts his hand through it and asks for gold. Ohan calls Smith over (pssstt) to him. Smith hides the disk and ring. Ohan is in a place where Bolix cannot find him in over 1000 years. Smith lies--he tells Ohan he cannot wake up Penny and she probably hid the disk somewhere. Ohan leaves, promising to be back tomorrow night. Smith opens the ring and puts it on his neck, covering it with his collar. Maureen comes out and they comment on the nice night. "Yes, it is," she says, "It's like spring back home." Smith lies, saying he was singing to himself when she thought she heard him talking to someone. He picks a flower. Maureen goes to bed. Smith throws the flower down but finds it turns to platinum silver. The ring on his neck is glowing. Smith picks up the flower, "I've discovered the secret of the metal ring. Platinum. Oh my."
Morning---Smith arrives at an area where Maureen, Penny, and Judy work on the water conversion unit. Smith feigns back trouble but digs into the lunch box. Penny knows why he is happy and accidentally reveals about the metal ring much to Smith's dismay. Smith tells them he has work in the garden to do. After he leaves, Maureen says, "Well speaking from past experience, I'd say he's up to some sort of mischief. He has that look of who me, I'm innocent and that always spells trouble." NOTE: Despite this, she doesn't watch him or what he does and this does lead to trouble. Smith goes to Bolix's tent where they sit and talk. Smith tells Bolix, "I always find my man." Bolix jokes he must make Smith a member of the Galactic Law Enforcement Agency. Smith knows Ohan will come back to the Jupiter II campsite at ten o'clock pm tonight. Bolix thought Smith was in sympathy with Ohan. Smith tells him his reports must be in error, "My character is of the finest caliber." Bolix (who wears a griffin neckpiece) mentions a reward which Smith wants to go to charity! Night again--Bolix is behind a rock. He takes out a gun, worrying Smith. Bolix is urging Smith to go out when Ohan calls him. Smith says, "No, no, no!" Ohan has a stick and feels they are not alone. Bolix reveals himself but Ohan uses the stick on Bolix's gun hand, knocking him down. Ohan then chokes Smith to his knees but Bolix's two monsters arrive and pull Ohan off Smith. Bolix tells Smith, "Good luck." Smith says, "Thank you, sir and have a pleasant journey home." Morning---Penny and Judy find a platinum flower. Smith comes out, "The man with the platinum touch." Maureen, at the breakfast table, tells Smith, she prefers her plates the way they are. Smith doesn't think Ohan will be back to claim his ring and he tells Maureen this. When Smith's fork and food on it turn to platinum, he can't remove the ring from his neck. Maureen looks--there is no catch--just a solid metal ring! Judy runs in to get the metal cutters from the tool box. Smith's cup and water turn to platinum. Maureen says, "Oh, Dr. Smith!" Penny says, "If you can't get the ring off, Dr. Smith, you won't be able to eat and if you can't eat..." Smith cries, "I'll die. Oh no!!!"
Maureen, Judy, and Penny have locked up for the night. All three stare out the window at Smith who is off with a lantern, a sleeping bag, and on a storage box, sitting. Maureen tells the girls, "You're dad will be back in one or two days--he'll know how to handle this." Penny uses the mike to talk to Smith, who has a radio to talk back. Maureen calls, "Dr. Smith, you mustn't give up hope." Smith must be alone to die, shunned by all. He understands they cannot let him in the ship. "For the safety of all of you, I have decided to leave you all forever. Farewell, dear friends. Think of me sometime." He waves and leaves. Penny calls, "Oh, don't go, Dr. Smith!" Morning---Judy and Penny find the sleeping bag platinum. Judy puffs, "I just can't believe we'll never see Dr. Smith again." Penny stops her, "Please don't talk about it, Judy, or I'll cry." Bolix and one monster arrive to question them. Maureen comes to them, "I'm not very good at guessing games." She explains about Smith. Penny tells Bolix the truth, too. Bolix figures Smith's plan out but blames Maureen, Judy, and Penny. He believes they betrayed Ohan. Maureen is told by him that Ohan tells quite a different story---I guess thinking they all betrayed him. NEEDS A SEQUEL WOULDN'T YOU SAY? Maureen asks, "What?" Bolix says, "And Dr. Smith is gone." Judy comments, "At least you've got that right." Maureen adds, "Because everything he touches turns to platinum." Bolix doesn't believe this and plans to take them off planet to the Prison Planet. Maureen urges him to find Smith. Penny runs, Bolix pulls his gun but stops his monster from going after her. He will take Maureen and Judy off the planet. Maureen tells him her husband won't know where to find her. Penny follows a trail of platinum trees, bushes, and rocks to Smith. NOTE: Her hair is in braids. "Officer Bolix has arrested mom and Judy. Oh, but he's gonna take them away to another planet!" Penny gets closer and closer to Smith who is on a rock, trying to keep away from her. Finally she gets so close she touches him and he her. Penny is turned to platinum. NOTE: What is obviously the silver space suit is on her or on a dummy that looks like her or her with makeup---and she had on her space fatigues not the silver space suit. Still, the effect is somewhat chilling and bizarre. Maureen continues to verbally spar with Bolix. Smith arrives, avoiding Maureen and Judy's questions about where Penny is. He makes Bolix release them, "I and I alone am responsible," Smith said. Bolix won't listen at first but Smith threatens, "Officer Bolix, release my friends or I shall turn you into platinum." He shows Bolix a rock he turns platinum. Smith makes the officer and his monsters leave never to return to this planet. Smith says, "Mrs. Robinson, you and Judy return to the Jupiter II." He will return to the wilderness--a fit place for a creature like him, he says. He doesn't have the courage to tell them about Penny. Smith goes back to the platinum Penny, "Forgive me," he kisses her on the cheek. NOTE: Penny's hand moves. MY FRIEND MR. NOBODY music plays. Smith laments, "Oh death where is thy sting." The Voice tells him he had happiness and gave it up for metal. Smith tells it he deserves to be punished but Penny does not--she is innocent. The Voice makes an exception and spares Smith, "I will spare you." Smith calls, "It's only Penny I want saved! You've got to make Penny normal again!" Smith says, "Oh what a miserable wretch I am," when it seems the Voice has gone away for good. He cries. Penny touches him, fine. Smith says, "Yes dear," then realizes it is the real Penny and she is cured. He kisses her, "You're alive!" Smith goes on about how the old Dr. Smith is gone, "...and I hope soon forgotten---I'm going to be the kind of man you all want me to be!!!" The ring comes off and he throws it. Penny tells Judy and Maureen, who catch up to them, that Dr. Smith is going to turn over a new leaf and be a model citizen. Maureen tells him it will take some effort. Judy asks if he wants the ring anymore (what? IS SHE DUMB?). Smith says, "All that glitters is not gold--the same can be said for platinum." Maureen says, "We'll we'd better get back to the spaceship--it's getting late." Smith finds a platinum flower and keeps it. The women laugh at him (why not scold the greedy villain--no, they humor him and laugh at him.)
NARRATION: In the meantime, some distance away, the rest of our intrepid band of space colonists proceeds on a vital mission of their own: searching for a new water supply to ensure the survival of the entire group. It is a mission which will lead them directly into....
ROBOT: Danger! (same voice as the narrator!). Danger! Volcano about to erupt!
John is driving the Chariot; Don tells him to pull over (during a volcano?); the ground sparks. Robot turns to see lava flowing their way. "Lava approaching! Lava approaching!" Robot says this once more. John informs them they are stuck. Will yells, "Lookout!" A rock ball of flame shoots right at the Chariot window and John and Don duck back.
TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK SAME TIME SAME CHANNEL
REVIEW: This episode fares a lot better than ONE OF OUR DOGS IS MISSING. At least, Maureen and Judy seem a bit smarter here than in that fiasco. Ohan and Bolix both seem too much like Earth men to be aliens. Bolix claims to be from Tauron but the aliens in THE SKY IF FALLING were said to be Taurons in the script and in RETURN FROM OUTER SPACE. They look and dress nothing like Bolix so this really does not fit. Yes, this is the Midas touch but the thing is Smith does feel quite badly and loves Penny so much he seemed transformed...at least until she was back and safe. The Space Trader also visits the planet Tauron...or at least he said he does. I like the idea of doing one story about the gang at the spaceship and then the next story of the gang traveling in the Chariot. This is the only time this was done this way. In THE GOLDEN MAN, we get the Smith side of things back at camp but not the Chariot adventure and Robot also stays with them. By the second season, Robot and Smith being together was a demanding constant of the series (demanding of the viewers' patients, too). The thought of doing a story where Smith was not a main star didn't occur. In THE LOST CIVILIZATION, Smith is not involved all that much. He does get the air conditioner unit from the Chariot, causing problems for the men and the Robot but he is not the focus. That tale is better for it--a straight forward adventure. In ALL THAT GLITTERS, Smith betrays Ohan...to Bolix---too many ill-minded characters for me, all out for their own good and all using Penny to some extent. Comparisons with ONE OF OUR DOGS IS MISSING, THE GOLDEN MAN, and THE GALAXY GIFT cannot be helped. In the much better THE GALAXY GIFT, the women, Smith, and this time Will and the Robot are left by John and Don, who are off in the Chariot. Penny is given another artifact to hide by another chased alien, this time Mr. Archon--not a thief but also not wholly pure either. The idea of Space Police is a tired, tried one, even in 1966. ALL THAT GLITTERS: it was nice to see Maureen and Judy in some of the action but far too much Smith for my taste. ALL THAT GLITTERS was the title of a SPACE: 1999 second season episode about living rocks. Also---the question of language is again addressed--some fans and some writers who write about LOST IN SPACE (not always the same as the fans) have declared LOST IN SPACE after THE SKY IF FALLING had the aliens speak English with no explanation--hello! THIS IS NOT TRUE. Here. Bolix has learned English. In THE SPACE TRADER, he uses a device to translate learning to his mind. A CHANGE OF SPACE will also address the question. Even THE SPACE CROPPERS addressed the issue. So there.